Thursday, November 14, 2002

I don't know how profound I am going to be, but I just felt like blogging.

This week, I have put my foot down and GONE HOME as early as I can. I still put in 8,9,10 hour days, but I am really trying to avoid the 12 hour days.

I am experiencing life without sleep deprivation. I recommend it.
Previously, things which I knew where simple tasks had seemed insurmountable.
I knew something was wrong, and I had to figure out a way to get back to normal.

Sleep was a very big part of the solution.

So, all week I have been quite cheerful and productive.

BTW of nothing, I just noticed that I have someone FROM RUSSIA! who has visited my site.
Hello hello and welcome!

Russia's academy of science is where my visitor came from.

I've had a lot of international visitors (how do they find me? I have no idea!)
but never anyone from that special country.

Since we all lived there for years (some of us more than others) my dad has been really digging in and trying to learn the GRAMMAR.

scary stuff.

He had his birthday yesterday (happy birthday again, dad!) and was amusing himself with the fact that he is now 64, just like the Beatles song.
He and mom sang the song together. I think that's marvelous.

I'd get him a beatles CD, but I am almost sure he would never listen to it. He would much prefer a documentary video.

Anyway, Dad and I decided we should practice our Russian skills and become pen pals. That way we could practice writing and reading, and have something fun in the mailbox every once in a while.

I am going to have to find my RUS_ENG dictionary. I think one is in the bookshelf, but the good one is missing.

Well, like I said, not profound, but I am feeling pleased with life and thought I would burble on my blog for a while.
posted by Murphy 11/14/2002

Monday, November 11, 2002

Checked out "Long Day's Journey into Night" from the library. There were a lot of different drama recordings to choose from, but I picked that one because it had a reputation of being really good. Eugene O'Neill is a reknowned playwright, and this play gets mentioned all over the place in anthologies, etc.

I thought it was something I should experience.

So. I listened to it. I was looking forward to posting about a brilliant play, and giving my opinion of it.

It is not a fun play. I really didn't know what to expect, but it was not a comedy.

The whole story revolves around the mother in the family, who has a drug addiction. But as the play progresses, you find out that everybody is some kind of addict.

Their interactions are filled with justifications followed by wallowing in self-loathing. Then they are all so full of regrets and warning for everyone else.

Typical junkie behavior. I find it repulsive. I find it irritating, annoying and icky. So why would a whole drama showcasing junkiness be such a hit?

I can only think that, when the play came out, not many people had experience with junkies, and so they were fascinated.

I've had experience with junkies. My former father-in-law was an addict. It was quite exhausting, to keep up with his whereabouts and moods. Everyone in the family had to be massively elastic and jumpy to keep up with whatever he was going to do next.

And the astounding feats of justification and self-recrimination that his wife and son did. I never knew him as anything but an addict, so I was free to categorize him. They knew what he had been before, and were always judging his current behaviour as how close or far it was from his "real" self.


And now, one of my dearest friends just discovered her fiancee is a crackhead. She was describing how he reacted when she discovered him, and the lengths he had gone to hide the habit and lie to her.

I remembered my father-in-law. I remembered "Long Day's Journey Into Night."

Self-deception. The easy way out...Thinking "It's not really a lie...I will have quit the stuff before she finds out about it"

Then just a little more. And the NEED for it.

There are more people that can relate to this play than perhaps I realize.

Maybe it's a mirror, too. It makes me wonder what I'm lying to myself about. It's so so easy.
posted by Murphy 11/11/2002

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Musings about art and the meaning of life