Wednesday, August 14, 2002
This weekend I completed my plan for getting a job in LA by packing up all my stuff and moving it to my new LA apartment.
When I started this process, I didn’t think too much about moving my things. I have moved a lot in my life, most of it as an adult. While it is difficult, I know it’s possible. I just put it out of my mind; I had enough other things to worry about.
But the day arrived, and I was faced with my piles of boxed and unboxed belongings. I had called upon my family and friends to help me, and I had rented a Uhaul truck.
After filling out the meandering paperwork and listening to all the dire warnings designed to sell the extra trip insurance, I was presented with the keys to a vast, lumbering, scraped and dented truck. After examining this land leviathan, I bought the extra insurance.
Then I drove the 2 miles to my apartment and all my things. This massive truck was the truck that I would be driving 400 miles that day. Lord have mercy. Best not think about that, one ought not hyperventilate while driving a Uhaul.
Parking the car, I noticed that some of my friends were already there. This helped take my mind off the doom of driving the truck over Highway 5, and made me think about all the things that needed to be packed.
We went inside, and all of us immediately set to work. Cheerfully, in the blazing heat, my friends set to work moving my stuff.
The incredible part of it was, as I looked at all of my things, I began to be pit-of-the-stomach afraid that, as cavernous as my beast of a truck seemed, all my stuff might not fit.
It also began to dawn on me that I was not as packed as I had thought I was. I had a lot left to cram into bags and boxes.
And my amazing friends and family packed cheerfully, like intelligent ants, moving my belongings into the space of the truck carefully, plotting out how to use the space efficiently.
I didn’t have to direct anything, which was good, because I had to pack all my loose stuff and toss the stuff I couldn’t keep.
All the while the others were packing. And when they noticed my rising panic, they reassured me that everything would be okay. Things would fit-- I shouldn’t worry.
What incredible people! I could barely believe that I knew these incredibly nice people, let alone that they cared about me so much that they would work in the scorching heat to pack all of my pitiful stuff into a truck with care.
I should never have asked them to do such a thing! These fabulous people should not be doing this! I should rather have taken them out to nice restaurant and treated them to dinner, counting it a bargain because I could just spend the time in conversation and good company.
But here they were, doing this arduous task, because I needed help.
I really needed help.
There was no way I could have done all that work on my own.
I had asked for help, because I was pitiful and needy. But there was no obligation on their part to give it. Really, they could have said “no.” Any reason would have sufficed, or no reason at all. It would not have been rude or wrong. Certainly, a million things might have been more important or pleasant.
But they went one phenome further and said “yes.” I didn’t deserve it. Perhaps I should have been responsible for my own crap, and hired movers to take care of it, instead of burdening my dear friends.
But I had not done that, and the time was too short now. I needed their help, and though I didn’t really deserve it, it was given.
As that realization dawned upon me, I felt truly humbled. And then God revealed himself to me in that space.
Jesus was packing my truck.
Because isn’t undeserved grace the gift of Christ Himself? And when these beloved people came to help me—they didn’t have to—they became the arms and legs and strong back of Jesus. Their actions were pure shining Christian love, pouring out from God through them to me.
Did I mention feeling humbled?
As with all of God’s gifts, there is no adequate way I can pay them back. If they had been hired movers, I could have given them my MasterCard and kept my pride. But I am not supposed to hold on to pride, anyway. The Truth reveals that I have nothing to be so proud of—I have only to rejoice in the fact that God loves me whether I deserve it or not.
And so, apparently, do Bonnie, Alex/Steve, Bryan, Chris, Dad and my brother Chris. I sincerely thank you all so much for your help. It meant a lot to me.
God bless you.
posted by Murphy 8/14/2002
Tuesday, August 13, 2002
It's been a week since I posted. I have thought of two or three things to post about every single day since then.
But I have had no time.
It's been amazingly hectic. In the midst of the battle is not the time to compose the epic poem.
That comes later.
I have some AMAZING stories to tell. And I will tell them.
But it will have to be later. Perhaps tonight I will have time to blog.
My apartment is filled to the brim with Boxes, and Skellig the Brave paces and lounges among them.
I THINK I can find my computer in the middle of all of it.
When I do, I will have to find the time to write all my amazing stories.
Thanks for your patience and continued readership. I _love_ the fact that people are reading my stories and thoughts.
posted by Murphy 8/13/2002